Have you ever seen people be rude to their server? It's not the right way to express a complaint, nor is it how you should treat anyone who is serving you. Anyone who's ever worked in a restaurant, bar or other service industry has experienced how poorly some customers treat servers. But you should always be nice to anyone serving you, and here's why …
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1. It's a Tough Job
Serving people is a tough job. You're on your feet for hours, and may not even get a proper break. You have to deal with people shouting at you, acting like they're the only person you're serving, and blaming you for any problems. So put yourself in your server's shoes, and treat them as you'd like to be treated if you were doing their job.
2. They're Poorly Paid
Waiting tables can be pretty badly paid. It shocks people outside the US to learn that waiting staff depend on tips for most of their income. And just because someone is doing a service job doesn't mean that they're unintelligent or beneath anyone else; they deserve to be treated nicely.
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Many waiting staff earn less than the minimum wage because it is assumed that tips will make up the difference. This tip-dependent wage system places servers in a precarious financial position, where one bad night can mean trouble paying bills. Being generous with your gratuity is not just a matter of rewarding service; it's supporting someone's livelihood. Remember, a warm smile and a kind word accompany monetary tips beautifully, contributing to a positive working environment for those who serve us.
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3. They're Human
When I hear about people treating a server badly, I wonder if they actually see the server as a fellow human being or just a means of getting their food. Servers are human too and deserve to be treated with politeness. They have home lives, children and problems, so recognise that they're people, not machines.
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Remember that empathy is key. They’re juggling multiple tables, remembering orders, all with a smile. We’ve all had bad days where nothing goes right, and service workers are no exception. A kind word from you could be a much-needed positive moment in their day. Mistakes happen, but kindness and understanding often lead to better service and a human connection that transcends a simple transaction between server and customer.
4. Motivation
Be nice to your server and you'll help motivate them to provide the best possible service. When they've been working for hours, they're bound to be tired, and even when they're not tired they're going to be less inclined to do their best for someone who isn't nice to them. However, if you're polite they'll be more motivated to give you great service.
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Showing appreciation can go a long way. A sincere thank you, a smile, or even a small compliment about the service can make your server's day better. It’s not just about decency; when servers feel valued and respected, they carry that positive energy, translating it into attentive and cheerful service. Remember, those serving you often juggle multiple tasks and responsibilities—so a bit of kindness from you could be the encouragement they need to provide stellar service, even on a hectic day.
5. Mistakes Happen
Servers get complaints directed at them if there is something wrong with a customer's food. But mistakes do happen, and it might not be their fault. The issue is what the restaurant does to put it right. Calmly inform them of the issue, and ask for it to be put right. Shouting at the server won't help matters.
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Whether the error is a misplaced order or an accidental spill, remember, your server is human. They're juggling multiple tasks and stressors that you may not be aware of. Approach the situation with empathy and kindness—a gentle word and patience can often result in not just the mistake being corrected, but perhaps even a complimentary dish or drink as an apology. An understanding demeanor builds a better atmosphere for everyone, including the staff who will be more motivated to ensure the remainder of your experience is pleasant and enjoyable.
6. They're Handling Your Food
Stories about what disgruntled chefs and servers do to your food are legendary. Whether they happen or not is uncertain. But why take the chance on annoying someone who has access to your food? If you have a complaint about the food or service, make your point calmly and you're more likely to get a satisfactory resolution.
7. You'll Look Bad if You're Rude
We've all seen how quickly stories about restaurant meltdowns get passed around social media. Although being rude to your server isn't likely to go viral, at the very least you're going to make yourself look like a jerk in front of other patrons. As they say, it's a very bad sign if your date is rude to waiting staff.
So if you're tempted to get cross with a server, put yourself in their shoes and consider that their feet are probably hurting! You'll get better service if you're nice to them, and manners don't cost anything. Have you ever done a service job, and what was the best/worst thing about it?
Comments
Bobbie: My sisters and I were all waitresses and did very well. But all of us would agree that it's one of the hardest jobs out there. If I am with anyone that treats waitstaff rudely, it's the very last time I will go to a restaurant with them.
Phoebeselene: As a waitress I have come to expect people treating me like a machine or a piece of furniture, and it can be unpleasant. However, it is far better to have someone treat you like that than with horrible condescension and rudeness. I may be serving you but I am not a servant. There are two things I appreciate above all others as a waitress: manners and patience. You are not the only table I am serving, and along with your demands, I also have my boss telling to do things, and the kitchen demanding I drop everything when they call 'service please'. I have been on my feet for the last several hours, I have not eaten or taken a break in at least as long, I barely have time for a glass of water. So if you wave me over like a asshole then tell me in a rude tone 'my coffee is only lukewarm, I want it HOT', I'm going to take your coffee, make you wait, then boil the shit out of it and give it back with a pleasant smile while thinking I hope your tongue burns off you sonuvabitch. :)
Sheryl: I could never do the wonderful job that servers do. I just don't have the patience...plus it's a hard job. If I see a server being berated by a rude customer, I usually leave an extra tip.
Lara: Number 3 and 6 are the ones that actually matter. Most people start to treat a transaction with the barista, bartender or waitress like dealing with a machine. They avoid eye contact, pushily wave money at you or just state what they want like speaking to an automated being. I almost choked when a young man actually included "hello, may I please have, thank you" in his order last week. So be nice to people serving you because with out us, you would have no where to go on Friday night, no where to have lunch with friends, brunch or coffee. If you piss me off I will burn you coffee, short your drink or just kick you out, and let you food run cold. Bring your manners, a smile or at least don't project your bad mood on others and be surprised how much more we will do for you.
Divamom: 3 of my 5 kids have been servers thru their university years. They enjoy helping customers have a great dining experience and will direct diners to meals that will enhance their dining experience. Sometime customers do not appreciate the behind the scenes activity but our family does and always appreciate all the hard work.
Zanna: I hate seeing people treat ANYONE rudely. It's just heartbreaking how this has become so commonplace.
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