All Women's Talk

8 Ways to Deal with a Partner Who Spends Too Much ...

By Alison

Do you need to find ways to deal with a partner who spends too much? Money, and differing attitudes towards it, is one of the most problematic issues in relationships. If your partner is a spendthrift it can impact both your daily life and your future, so it's important to tackle the problem before it ruins your relationship - and possibly, your own finances. Here are some ways to deal with a partner who spends too much …

Table of contents:

  1. Take control of finances
  2. Be uncritical
  3. Look at your own spending
  4. Agree to limits
  5. Plan your future
  6. Allowance
  7. Acceptance
  8. Walk away

1 Take Control of Finances

One of the ways to deal with a partner who spends too much is to take control of family finances yourself. This does depend on your partner's agreement; if they won't admit that they are bad with money it's a lot harder to take charge. On the other hand, they might be all too pleased to hand over responsibility to you.

2 Be Uncritical

As tempting as it may be, try to avoid yelling at your partner for their spending habits. This will only make them defensive and more resistant to change. Instead, tackle the subject of their overspending as neutrally as possible. Try saying 'we need to look at our finances' or 'I'd like to set a budget, will you help me?'

3 Look at Your Own Spending

Be honest - are there ways in which you're overspending as well? Even if you're not as bad as your partner, you may be a bit careless with money yourself. You can't expect them to reform if you're contributing to the problem, so sort your own spending out first.

4 Agree to Limits

Another tactic you can try is to come to an agreement with your partner on how much they spend on non-essentials. You might not like how they spend money, but the priority is to cover the bills. As long as your partner doesn't jeopardise those, it may be best to accept their spending.

5 Plan Your Future

Sometimes, an overspending partner can be reined in by giving them a reason to save their money. Perhaps you plan to start a family together or buy a house in the future. Once they understand that this won't be possible if they continue spending at their present rate, their attitude towards money could change.

6 Allowance

Again, this will only work if your partner agrees. If even they admit that they are useless with money, you could take charge of finances and give them an allowance. It might seem childish, but is a practical way of dealing with a spending habit. Once they've spent their weekly allowance, it's gone.

7 Acceptance

The easiest thing may be to accept that you and your partner share different attitudes towards money. This should only happen if your joint financial situation is secure and your partner is paying their fair share of living costs. After that, it could be said that what they do with the money they've earned is up to them.

8 Walk Away

If your partner's spending is affecting your life, and they refuse to acknowledge the problem, the best option may be to end the relationship. If they are in denial or don't care about how their spending affects you, they will probably never change. It's sad, but either you put up with it or you walk away.

You might not have thought before that money could cause such serious problems in a relationship, but it's one of the main causes of rows. If you're careful with money and save, while your partner spends everything they have, it will make you resentful. So it's vital to deal with the issue of money. Do you have a partner who loves splashing the cash, or are you the one who spends too much?

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