There are many sound reasons not to rely on your parents financially. Sadly, many people continue to call on the Bank of Mom and Dad instead of solving their own financial problems (or not getting into difficulties in the first place). It's understandable that our parents want to help us out, but we shouldn't depend on them well into adulthood. Here are some of the reasons not to rely on your parents for money …
Table of contents:
- you're an adult
- they're not your safety net
- don't assume
- it's not responsible
- comes with conditions
- paying your way
- they have their own needs
1 You're an Adult
Of all the reasons not to rely on your parents, the top one has to be that you're an adult now. As such, you ought to be completely self-supporting. You're old enough to get a job and pay your own way; expecting them to send you checks is effectively saying that you're not mature enough to manage your own finances. Is that really the impression that you want to give?
2 They're Not Your Safety Net
Your parents have done their job and financed your needs during your childhood. It's not their job to continue to fund you during adulthood. Of course they'll want to help you out if you hit unforeseen problems - that can happen to anyone - but you should do your best to ensure that you're covered. Your parents are not obliged to act as your financial safety net.
3 Don't Assume
Money can cause problems in families when it is assumed that parents will help out financially and they can't or won't do so. Never assume that yours will oblige and throw money your way. It's an unfair expectation and puts pressure on your parents, especially as they would then probably feel obliged to treat your siblings the same way.
4 It's Not Responsible
Looking to your parents to help you financially is not a grownup way of behaving. If you need the money to get yourself out of a hole, that's making your parents responsible for saving you. It's especially wrong if you just want the money for something that isn't essential; it's like asking for (a lot of) pocket money. Take responsibility for yourself and your finances instead.
5 Comes with Conditions
Even if your parents want to give you money, you should beware of any conditions that may be attached. Money is often used as a way of controlling adult children. They've been generous enough to give you money, so how can you repay them by not doing what they want/ dating someone they don't like/ not rushing to do their bidding? Declining their money means that they can't try emotional blackmail.
6 Paying Your Way
Being given money seems like it's a great deal. But paying your own way actually is much more satisfying. Nothing feels better than knowing that you've worked for everything that you have. If you're not funding yourself then you're not completely independent.
7 They Have Their Own Needs
Finally, remember that your parents have their own needs to take care of. Plus they have the right to spend their own money on enjoying themselves. If you expect them to help you out, they have less for themselves. It may even mean that they go without.
It's different if they're helping you through college or if they offer you some money towards something important like a deposit on a house. What you should never do is expect your parents to help you out - and you should never get angry with them if they decline to do so. Do you think it's ever acceptable to depend on the Bank of Mom and Dad?
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